Isn’t it fun to hang around with some people. You talk and you laugh together. You are comfortable and you have a good time. Of course, you have much in common with your companions, but that is not the only reason for this connection that you feel.
I have a cousin who visits us regularly on his trips to India. Often his flight timings are inconvenient for us. However, as inconvenient as his flight timings maybe, we always look forward to his visits and enjoy the talks. Conversations are warm and pleasant. There is no awkwardness, unlike some other guests, who like to talk 'big' and throw their weight around and are unnecessarily demanding. Time spent with them is boring and unpleasant.
Later, when I think about their behaviour, I suspect that they probably ‘talk big’ so that they seem ‘important’. They probably believe that this will make them seem ‘more desirable’ as associates to us. Unfortunately, it has just the opposite effect, and I get this urge to reciprocate to his arrogant remarks. Sometimes I do, which I regret later, and feel bad about behaving thus.
It seems that we ‘catch’ the mindset of people we spend time with. And it is possible that trivial apprehension of my mind may be sensed by the other person and trigger a bigger anxiety in the other’s mind, which is further picked up by the former and thus negating the gathering. Similarly, positive mind patterns too get picked up and cultivate a positive atmosphere.
Being aware of this interchange of mind patterns, we can take steps to nip it in the bud.
You accept your persona as growing and be comfortable knowing that you are not perfect, but you are learning to become better.
Be comfortable with your vulnerability and let your guard down. Know that your weaknesses do not define you. No one is perfect but the smart ones are trying to be better by making simple changes that give better results.
Take yourself less seriously because sometimes your imperfections may be what connects you to some people. Take the example of two students in the same class who find a subject hard to understand and barely manage to pass are likely to understand each other’s dilemma better than others.
Develop a sense of humour and learn to laugh at yourself.
Laugh with your friends and not at your friends.
Be curious and candid.
Once you practise and follow the above, not only you, people who spend time with you will also have a good time and have pleasant memories to share. You will be 'wanted'.
Author's Note: Please read and share my post with others too.
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